what does surrender feel like?

The other day a friend and I were talking and I asked her to write down the emotions of a soul right before surrender occurs. And then what it feels like once you do cry 'uncle' to God.

Clinging to rights. Logical inner argument. Indignant. Self-deserving. Self-justifying. Frustrating. Exhausting. No brain rest/circling thoughts.

And then mercy steps in and reveals the real fight and we feel:

Healthy grief/sadness. Loss. Lifting of an immense burden. Relief. Illogical yet healthy letting go. Expectancy and wonder for what God will do next. Sensing room for God's sovereignty.

When we find that our struggle is not really about another person; that its really about our response to a difficult situation, then we are given spiritual energy to surrender. To give up the expectation that someone will apologize, or agree with me, or recompense a loss.

Its called freedom.

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