some good adivse given to me

Well, maybe not to me personally but found by me in the pages of some writings.

Philip Yancy says that God reveals Himself to us either as the Lover or as the Father. And there is a big difference. The Lover, an independent being, is longing for oneness with another independent being, so that they are seriously affected by any sort of separation. While the Father is creatively bringing instruction and events into the life of a very dependent being, so that he/she develops independence and a mature faith.

And then I heard some thoughts on the difference between complaining and lamenting. A complainer would be challenged by the Father to see his mind renewed into more grateful thoughts. or more humble ones. or less selfish ones. But the Lover would draw the lamenter into his arms to comfort and weep with sincere tears. He loves to join into all the emotions of His beloved.

So as I await, again, test results that may or may not be significant I realize that there are places that God is using this to grow me up. He is stretching me toward maturity and the capacity to bear my own burden. AND He is very pleased when I grieve in His presence. Both of these dynamics are happening in me right now. And it is good!

My need and His provision

So here were two thoughts that intersected in one of my recent days....

Walt Wangerin says that cancer does not give permission to become testy or rude to a medical person who hurts you, or to a blessing-meaning friend who just gets it wrong. In fact, even an internal conversation of contempt or criticism is able to set like cement into my soul.

Hm. Okay. Seems like a severe sort of standard to attain. But I'm listening.

Then Philip Yancy says that God reveals Himself to His people in two metaphors. Father to a child and Lover to His beloved. The first looks at His helpless baby and loves it into maturity. Looks for that utterly dependent child to mature into an independent adult with a mature faith. One who can bear his own burden. The second looks at His beloved, His desired one, and uses great creativity to win over her hesitations and independence so that two become one.

I think God wants me to consider this: my need for Him to give me the courage and

More in I Chronicles

David was surrounded by brave men. Here are a few things said about them: They had singleness of purpose, they were seasoned troops, equipped for battle, they bore shield and spear, they were mighty in valor, they were expressly named to come and make David king, they were men famous in their father's houses, they were armed with all the weapons of war.

He had his 3 nephews, Joab, Abishai, and Asahel (what was their mother Zeruiah like??) who became numbered in the 30 of his mighty men.

These men trickled in one by one, day after day until there was a mighty army, like an army of God. These men were not drafted. They made their own decision to be there. This was a volunteer army when it wasn't safe to be joined to David. God uses men like these.

Here's another extract from David's life

In I Chronicles you have a few details of David as a General-King that are pretty significant. When the Israelites routed the Philistines, the baal idols were dropped onto the battle field. David had them burned. He kept his heart free from idols his entire life, and leaned heavily on God. David knew that his life was fragile enough that he needed God badly to win through all the dangers.

And then there was King Saul. Saul was killed because he consulted not God but a medium. (He actually did consult God and knew that the kingdom was no longer his. He heard only silence when he asked for king-directions. He was consulting a medium because he wanted a different answer than God's) Saul was very afraid of God's will and ways, and so consulted his own understanding or forbidden advisers.

Proverbs 28:26 says, 'Whoever trusts his own mind is a fool,but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.' The best thing I can do when facing a decision or a troubling event is to turn my mind to what God would have me do. If I can't figure out what that is, then to ask someone who has had the habit of walking in wisdom, and consider their advise. If I find myself wandering around in the same old messes then it makes sense that I need to get some new directions.

Wolves make noise

There is a difference between imagining that a sound outside your house is a wolf, and knowing that the sound outside your house is a wolf. You can talk yourself out of alarm and skittishness. You can look out the window and laugh a little at imaginations most vivid. You can even begin thinking about something else. If the sound outside is not a wolf.

But if it is a wolf, and prowls back and forth and growls with hunger and determination, and the wolf hunter is no where to be seen. Then the difference is enormous. You might find yourself looking out the window for the help that is not yet there. You might find that other occupations are difficult to embrace. You really want to talk about the wolf more than is considered comfortable to anyone who is within hearing range. And perhaps you bite your tongue to keep from wondering about the sharpness of its teeth and how heavy the danged thing is.

If it is definitely a wolf, you pray, but for what? That it would cease to be a wolf (as if wolves can be transformed into something...lovable?) or that its teeth would sort of chew only just a little (and that it wouldn't hurt, just this time?) or that you would be brave as a marine and whistle loudly as you wait for that unseen, unarrived wolf hunter?

And cancer is that wolf. It prowls at the door and outside the windows. I am not imagining the growls and pacing. My regular prayer is that it stays out there until the wolf hunter arrives.

Thanks to Paul Tripp for this one:

Growing up, it was the source of endless entertainment. My dad was the guru of shortcuts. He lived on an endless quest for the shortest route to all of the places to which he regularly drove. He was never satisfied with his latest discovery. He was always after a better, time-saving route than the last one. My mom used to kid my dad that most of his shortcuts were in fact “longcuts.” I remember one thing my dad would say in his search for the shortest distance to wherever, “The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.”

Have you ever wondered what David means in Psalm 27:11 when he says, "Teach me your way, O Lord, lead me on a level (straight) path because of my enemies"?

The life to which God has called us is the ultimate straight line. This line starts with dead rebels and ends with people alive and reformed into the likeness of God’s Son. The problem is that we all tend to have a "shortcut" mentality which leads us into "shortcut" problems. Our living is seldom a straight line. The paths that we think will be easier and better are often not better at all. They seldom end up being better routes to the life which God has designed for us to live.

What seem to be better paths to us are actually self-oriented "long cuts" that actually take us away from where God wants us to be. Somehow, someway we all take daily detours of thought and desire that move us off the straight path that God has placed us on by his grace. In magnificently patient, transforming love, he has redeemed us from the jungle of our rebellion, lust, autonomy, foolishness, and self-focus and placed us on the narrow pathway of the grace of his Son. The problem is that we all tend to get tricked into taking detours that get us off God’s path and into trouble.

Our problem is twofold. First, we get diverted because we are impatient. The trip to where God is taking us is not an event; it’s a process. And the process isn’t easy. God’s road takes us through the heat of the sun, through storms and cold, through the dark of night, through loneliness and confusion. All of these things are under God's control and are meant to change us as we journey. But, we get tired and impatient and begin to convince ourselves that there is a better way. But, that isn’t all.

We also get diverted because we are disloyal. Our hearts aren’t yet fully committed to God’s glory and his kingdom. So, we don't keep our eyes focused on the kingdom to come that is in front of us. No, we're looking all around, still attracted to the shadow glories of creation, because we still carry around in us allegiance to the small-agenda purposes of the kingdom of self. So in our impatience and disloyalty we see pathways that appear easier, more comfortable or that appear to offer us things that we haven't found on God's pathway, but these side-routes only ever lead to danger, destruction and ultimately death.

There is no time when this temptation is more powerful than when we are facing difficulty. This is exactly what the verse we are considering recognizes. When you are being hammered by the enemy, it’s very tempting to debate within yourself as to whether God’s way is the best way. It starts with bad attitudes. Perhaps you begin to doubt God, doubt his goodness, and question his love. Perhaps you give way to anger, impatience, and irritation. Or maybe you begin to allow yourself to envy. You wonder why the guy next to you has such an easy route to walk, when yours is so hard.

These bad attitudes lead to bad habits. You quit praying because you reason that it doesn’t seem to be doing any good. You stop reading your Bible because those promises don’t seem to be coming true in your life. You quit attending your small group because you can’t stand to hear the stories of God’s love that others share, when your life is so hard. You even begin to give yourself reasons for missing the Sunday worship service, reasons you once wouldn’t have given yourself. Before too long there is a coldness and distance in your relationship with God that would have shocked you in the early days of your journey. Your difficulty has deceived you into thinking that you have reason for wandering off God’s straight path, and your attitudes and habits have placed you on the dangerous side-paths of the kingdom of self.

So, David's prayer is an important request for all of us. All of us step off God's path in some way and all of us need restoring grace. Have you gotten off God’s straight path? Have you given yourself reason to take side-paths? How about praying, once again today, “Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path”? Thankfully, our Savior Guide doesn't leave us to our wandering. He relentlessly seeks us and places us back on His straight path and for that every son and daughter, still on the journey, should be deeply thankful.

a really bad dream

I woke up this morning from a really bad dream. Dale and I had been visiting family which had been gathered for a big social gathering. Could have been Christmas but there weren't any presents and the relative's house was being remodeled. The conversations were about topics I didn't understand. The people were enjoying interactions that didn't include me. At one point I had been handed a baby, or I had picked a baby up, and it slipped through my hands to land with a soft plop on the carpet. The decorations of the house were crowded and unattractive. I found it difficult to walk through the rooms without being poked or scraped. People who spoke of me used nicknames that I hadn't heard before. I had a strong impulse to leave because I was sure no one would notice I was gone, and being there was so heavy.

Is this what it is like to be non-born? To be unknown, to be unneeded, to be unreal?